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03 May 2011

Rose


My bleeding rose, my bleeding cliché. I have never been fond of the cliché. I narrowly escaped the eccentric, brooding artist routine. Cannot help loving eccentric artists though... Dali is the master. Or was.
I was irritated as I painted this bleeding rose. I was unhappy. I struggled with the colours and the shapes and I did not like the pink background. But I decided to live with it and I worked hard to get it finished and get it right. That is what makes a painting real.  Suffering for your art, old school.
Folk that say, "it must be so relaxing to paint all day" irritate me just a little, I know it is not intended to sound critical but really they might as well say , "your work is really simple and perhaps a little pointless, especially as you never sell much of it," or at least that is what I often hear.
I always say, "Yes, it is, I love my job."  Which I wholeheartedly do. And at times I do find it simple and I admit that without the financial (and emotional) support of my husband it would be really difficult to make ends meet.  But this is not a hobby. This is my work.  This is what I am.  I am an artist.  I am a mother and a wife and proud as hell to be those things but... A housewife... can you still be a feminist if you are a housewife? Why should that even be a question?  I will discuss it at length in another post as I am rambling. I love to ramble, especially when I am in this mind buzzing mood! Oh, but back to my 'pro-me working hard' speech... I am an artist and I love it but the effort can be draining. My shoulders ache (boo hoo). I cannot think of anything else properly if I am in the middle of a project. I become faraway and don't want to work at everyday things. I am shit scared to show my work to people. Worst of all, sometimes I think I have lost that little smidgen of talent I had and I feel useless and sometimes I rip my work up and feel elated or paint it white (not black!) and start again.
...but sometimes the painting is fine. My mood alters. There is a halfway moment, around the time I paint the first highlights, when it can go either way and sometimes it works and I can let it be finished for a while.

That is some advice for any artist.  Let it be, let it be...
Hide your work for a while then look at it with fresh eyes and see the impact it has and spot the mistakes and correct them. Don't be scared to correct them.  If you are afraid to ruin it then there is always more paper. Joking, scan your work before you fix it... but don't be too scared of change, please. Change breeds opportunity. athankyou and goodnight. Lovies to you. x